(I now call it my Jimmy Carter “I have lust in my heart” moment –the blogpost where I shouldn’t have said what I was really feeling.)
Over at theÂ “Dear Author” website,Â I’m being blasted for my tongue-in-cheek comments about the McGillivray mess.Â Last night my husband told me he was concernedÂ that I let it “all hang out” on this blogsite and that I keep telling the truth about exactly how I see the industry.Â And it’s true.Â I’ve confessed to my insecurities here.Â I’ve revealed what I know about how the business works.Â I’ve talked about bestseller lists and hard numbers and incomes and racial issues and a lot of things that most authors will never tell you about.
And now, it seems, there are tons of people who say they will never buy another one of my books or hang out with me at conferencesÂ because I’m such a jerk for telling the truth (about my feelings.)
This is the sort of defining moment that tells an author it’s time to close down the blogsite.Â
As an author, one has to deal with enough difficulties.Â And as for being stalked by weird readers/reviewers, hey, I’m the author about whom a reviewer wrote (in print) she’d like to slap me, and who also revealed the town I lived in and encouraged readers to accost me on the street.Â So yes, I know something about feeling a bit stalked.Â (But honestly? I was more bothered by the fact she didn’t like my book.Â How crazy is that?)Â
I’ve always reserved my deepest passions for the stories I tell, and for the whole, fascinating world of publishing.Â I didn’t realize that just talking about these passions could make a whole host of people who don’t even know me want to haveÂ me drawn and quartered.
So I think it’s time to cool the blog for awhile.Â I may be back.Â I may not.Â Either way, at least I can leave feeling that I’ve always been honest here.Â (Well, except for the times I exaggerated for the sake of humor.)Â I’ve tried to tell it like it is.Â I’ve tried never to hurt anyone.Â I’ve never used the internet to harass anyone, lambaste anyone, nor done any of the weird things McGillivray is accused of doing.Â I’ve never bitten back at a reader (even though, as I confessed, I sometimes want to.)Â I’ve never advocated any of these things.Â I just said,Â quite honestly, that when your feelings get hurt, you haveÂ emotional reactions that aren’t quite rational.Â
But on DearÂ Author,Â it appears that just confessing to those emotions are thought to be akin to actually committing sins, and in this age of internet pile-ons, it’s just too dangerous to be truthful.